Whorehouse Jokes / Recent Jokes
About a month ago the President of the United States decided he had to get laid. Going to a high-class whorehouse, he found a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette waiting in the douwnstairs lounge.
"I'm the President of the United States," he said to the blonde. "How much will it cost me to spend a little time with you?"
"Three hundred dollars." was her answer.
To the redhead he posed the same question. She replied, "Five hundred dollars."
He made the same proposition to the brunette.
She replied, "Mr. Preisdent, if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes, lower my panties as far as my wages, get your dick as hard as the times, keep it hard for as long as I have to wait in line at the store, keep me warmer than my apartment in the winter, and screw me like you do the public, believe me, Mr. President, it isn't going to cost you a dime!"
These two guys go to a whorehouse. The first guy goes in then comes out and says,"My wife is better." The second guy goes in then comes out and says,"You know what? Your wife IS better."
There is a whorehouse on a hill. There is one person going to it, one
person leaving from it, and one person inside it. What are there
nationalities?
The man going up is Russian,
The man going away is Finnish,
and the man inside is Himalayan.
A guy is horny a hell - but broke. He goes to a whorehouse with $5. 00, and begs the Madame to give him whatever she can for it. She says "I'm sorry, but that will only cover the rent for ten minutes, and none of my hookers work for free!" The guy gets the room, but has nothing to fuck. He looks out on the ledge of the building and sees a pigeon. Quietly, he opens the window, grabs the poor bird and just fucks the living shit out of it. Satisfied, he goes home.
Next week, he returns to the whorehouse, with his pay cheque. He says to the Madame, "I got lots of money now... give me a hooker!". The Madame replies "All of them are busy now, why don't you go to the peep show and get yourself in the mood?". The guy does, and is enjoying the show, when he turns to the guy next to him and says, "Hey, these chicks really know what they're doing huh?", The guy responds, "Yeah, but you should have been here last week, there was this guy fucking a more...
The barber was finishing a haircut on a customer one dayand started to apply some' Aftershave Lotion' around hisears when the customer yelled, "Don't put that crap on me! My wife says it smells like a French Whorehouse!"Another customer who was waiting replied, "Hey John, youcan put the' Aftershave Lotion' on me... My wife has neverbeen in a French Whorehouse!" Then the fun began...
A little boy hears the word whorehouse in school and asks his father what it means. His father is quite shocked, and replies: "Well, uh... you go there to... have a good time."
The boy starts screaming and hollering that he wants to go there too, but his father insists that he's too young.
Saturday night his dad and a few friends go to "Suzie's" to "have a good time", not knowing the little boy is following them.
After his father leaves, the little boy enters the whorehouse and tells the madame that he wants to have a good time. She's a bit puzzled at first, but being a kind-hearted lady she gives him three doughnuts and tells him to leave.
Later that night he comes home, his parents all worried. His father approaches him first and asks him where he's been.
"IN A WHOREHOUSE!" he screams proudly.
"WHAT? Well... uh... how was it?"
"I managed the first two without any problem, but I just more...
These two guys go to a whorehouse.The first guy goes in then comes out and says,"My wife is better."The second guy goes in then comes out and says,"You know what? Your wife IS better."