Wilde Jokes

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
-Stephen Bishop
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
-Samuel Johnson
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -Groucho
Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved
of it."
- Mark Twain
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
-Oscar Wilde
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by more...

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."-- Winston Churchill "A modest little person, with much to be modest about."-- Winston Churchill "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."-- Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway) "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner) "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."-- Moses Hadas "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."-- Abraham Lincoln "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."-- Groucho Marx "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."-- Mark Twain "He has no enemies, but is intensely more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Wilde!
Wilde who?
Wilde at heart!