Williams Jokes / Recent Jokes
17. The main accomplishment of Disney Studios was the film "Fantasia" in which they ripped-off Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring" by paying his agent $2500, of which Stravinsky received $500.
18. The value of a composer's agent is to convince the producer that using a music-cue library would not be cheaper than hiring a composer.
19. If there really is a Devil who is out to destroy the universe by means of vile conspiracies, and if God decides to deliver this message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger - - Oliver Stone. But John Williams will write the score.
20. You should not confuse your lack of musical talent with your inferiority complex.
21. A movie producer who is suddenly nice to you is not really a nice person. It means he is thinking about hiring another composer, probably John Williams.
22. No matter what happens at a recording session (for example, the players shout "Bravo" and applaud) somebody will still find more...
Retired NBA star Jayson Williams has agreed to a plea deal that would send him to prison for three years. Or the Nets for two.
Robin Williams has re-entered a rehab facility for alcohol abuse. Now he's hacking Mel Gibson.
Michael Irvin was complaining to Calvin Williams about his first trip to the Super Bowl and how hard it was to get any sleep the night before the big game. "I was awakened at one, two and four in the morning by a drunk cheerleader banging on the door and screaming," he recalled.
"That's terrible," said Williams. "How'd you ever get any sleep?"
"At five o'clock I finally unlocked the door and let her out," replied Irvin.
Below is an item that appeared recently in various Humor lists. It did not appear credible to me, so I wrote to the Association of Trial Lawyers of America for their comments on its veracity. Their comments (including a little propaganda for their side) follow the summary of the Stella Awards below. We may have some "goofy" legal decisions in America, but the ones below appear to be bogus.
Origin of the Stella Awards:
In 1994, a New Mexico jury awarded $2.9 million U.S. in damages to 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who suffered third-degree burns to her legs, groin and buttocks after spilling a cup of McDonald's coffee on herself.
This case inspired an annual award - The "Stella" Award - for the most frivolous lawsuit in the U.S. The ones listed below are clear candidates.
January 2000: Kathleen Robertson of Austin Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture more...
Erik Williams, 21, of the 3600 block of South Michigan Avenue, was arrested in Chicago on May 18 and charged with sexually assaulting (forced fellatio) a 42-year-old woman.
The victim arrived at a police station in the early morning hours clutching, in her hand, testicles that she had just bitten off.
At about the same time, Williams showed up at Michael Reese Hospital missing his testicles.
Doctors confirmed that the testicles were Williams' but were unable to reattach them.
A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best described as "a mistaken rapture" by dozens of eyewitnesses.
Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was apparently convinced that the rapture was occurring when she saw twelve people floating up into the air, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she claimed was Jesus.
"She started screaming "He's back, He's back" and climbed right out of the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everet Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene.
"I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into the sky," he went on to say.
"This is more...