Wish Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two guys, of limited intelligence, were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped under the surface.
After floating under blazing heat, for 6 days, they ran out of food and water. On the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water. As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an old oil lamp (the kind that genies come in).
They grabbed the lamp and rubbed it. Out popped a tired old genie who said, "OK, so you freed me from the stupid lamp, but hey, I've been doing this 3-wishes stuff for a while now and quite frankly, I'm burned out. You guys only get 1 wish and then I'm outta here. Make it a good one."
The first guy, blurted out, without thinking, "Give us all the beer we can drink for the rest of our lives!" "Fine," said the genie, and he more...
Family is driving in their car on holidays. Frog crosses the road and husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out an takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is grateful, thanks the man and tells him that he will grant him a wish.
Man says: please make my dog win the next dog race.
Frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of the car. The frog notices that the dog has only got three legs and tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulfill his wish and asks that the man will tell him another wish.
Man says: well, then please help that my wife will win the next beauty contest in the area.
Frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car. Wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog.
The frog turns to the man and says: "Could I please have another look at the dog???".
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.
The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each”
So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. “Pfufffff and he was gone.
Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted “I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. ”Pfufffff and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said, “I want these two idiots back right now. ” Pfuffff ……….: p
Lesson: - ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSSES TO SPEAK FIRST
The little white-haired spinster was rocking on her front porch with her tomcat at her feet when a good fairy suddenly appeared and offered her three wishes.
"Aw, go on," the little old lady said disbelievingly. "If you can grant wishes, let's see you turn this rocking chair into a pile of gold."
A wave of the good fairy's wand and the spinster found herself atop a pile of pure gold. Her face lighting up, she asked: "I get two more wishes?"
"Yes," the good fairy assured her. "Anything your heart desires."
"Then make me into a beautiful, voluptuous young girl," she ordered. Another wave of the wand and her wish was granted.
"Now," she said, "make my faithful old cat into a tall, dark and handsome young man."
The good fairy waved her wand and disappeared as the third wish came true and a muscular swain stood where the tomcat had just been sleeping.
The young man approached more...
See what a spelling mistake can do...
Santa went to Goa. Sent SMS to his wife: Having a wonderful time, wish u were Her
A guy was walking along the beach in Malibu when he came across this salt-encrusted piece of metal. He worked for an hour or so to remove the salt. Lo and behold, it was a very old oil lamp. The guy started to buff it to remove the verdigris when "poof" a genie appeared.
This genie, like all genies, was so happy to be freed of the lamp that he granted the guy three wishes.
"I wish to be a dollar richer than Bill Gates," says the guy.
The genie wasn't sure who Bill Gates was until the guy told him to check Forbes magazine. When the genie called up Forbes from inside the lamp, he learned that Bill Gates was indeed, the richest man in the world.
"Guy," the genie said, "You will forever be a dollar richer than Bill Gates. What's your second wish?"
"Genie, I want the most expensive Porsche made: Fire engine red, on board GPS and the finest audio system ever installed in an automobile."
"That's easy, Guy," more...
Family is driving in their car on holidays. Frog crosses the road and husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out an takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road.
Frog is greatful, thanks the man and tells him that he will grant him a wish.
Man says, "Please make my dog win the nexr dog race."
Frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of the car.
The frog notices that the dog has only got three legs and tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulful his wish and asks that the man will tell him another wish.
Man says, "Well, then please help that my wife will win the next beauty contest in the area."
Frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car. Wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog.
The frog turns to the man and says, "Could I please have another look at the dog???"