Wish Jokes / Recent Jokes

1 wish ?

Two guys, of limited intelligence, were on a ship that sank in the middle of the ocean. They managed to inflate a rubber life raft and grab a box of provisions before their ship slipped under the surface.After floating under blazing heat, for 6 days, they ran out of food and water. On the 10th day, bleary eyed and half dead from heat, thirst and starvation, they spotted a small object floating toward them in the water. As it drew near, they were ecstatic to find that it was an old oil lamp (the kind that genies come in).They grabbed the lamp and rubbed it. Out popped a tired old genie who said, "OK, so you freed me from the stupid lamp, but hey, I've been doing this 3-wishes stuff for a while now and quite frankly, I'm burned out. You guys only get 1 wish and then I'm outta here. Make it a good one."The first guy, blurted out, without thinking, "Give us all the beer we can drink for the rest of our lives!" "Fine," said the genie, and he instantly turned more...

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A florida genie

A man was walking along a Florida beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it, and out popped a genie.
The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month, and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"
The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly, and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!!
Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete -- how much steel!! No, think of another wish."
The man said, "OK, I'll try to think of a really good wish."
Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't more...

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Clinton and the Genie

Bill Clinton is walking around in the White House when he stumbles upon a very old lamp. He picks it up and rubs it. Within seconds, a genie pops out
"I will grant you but one wish" the genie says.
Clinton thinks it over, and says, "I wish for peace in the middle east."
"Where is that?" the genie asks.
Clinton pulls out a map and points to the mid-east.
"Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how long they've been fighting over there? There's no way I can stop that! Pick another wish instead."
Clinton thinks it over and says, "I wish that the American people wouldn't make fun of me and my wife, and that I will be remembered as the best President of all time."
The genie says, "Let me see that map again."

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A man has spent many days crossing

A man has spent many days crossing the desert without water. His camel has died of thirst. He's crawling through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a sudden he sees a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an ash tray from an old car. He opens it and out pops a genie.... But this is no ordinary genie. He is wearing a polka dot bow tie and a plaid sport coat. There's a dog-eared little book in the breast pocket with a blue cover. He has a pencil tucked behind one ear. "Well, kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three wishes." "I'm not falling for this." says the man. "I'm not going to trust a used car salesman!" "What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway! " The man thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right. more...

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A man walking along a California

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have had the faith to ask, I will grant you one wish." The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me." The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I have been married and divorced four times. All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they more...

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