Witch Jokes / Recent Jokes
What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter? The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.
Is it good to drink witchs brew? Yes, its very newt tricious!
A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor. The witch doctor throws some herbs on a fire, shakes his rattle, and says, "I have placed a powerful spell on you, but it will only work once a year. Just say' one, two, three' and you'll get the largest erection you've ever had. After your wife's been satisfied, simply say' one, two, three, four' and it will disappear for 12 months." Later that night as the man is lying in bed watching television, he says to his wife, "Watch this! One, two, three!" His penis becomes larger and stiffer than ever before. His wife is amazed. She smiles and says, "That's great! But what did you say' one, two, three' for?"
A man who is overly endowed, so much so that he has a 25 inch penis which is causing him a great deal of problems, goes to see his doctor for help.
"Medically, there is nothing I can do to help you," the doctor says, "but I do know a witch that may be able to help." The doctor then gives him the directions to where he can find the witch.
The witch stares at the man's problem in amazement and then instructs him to go deep into the forest where he will find a pond. "In this pond," the witch says, "you will find a frog. Ask the frog to marry you. Each time the frog says no, your problem will be 5 inches shorter."
Thinking it was definitely worth a try, the man heads off into the forest, finds the pond and sees the frog sitting on a log. "Will you marry me?" he shouts out to the frog.
The frog looks at him, totally disinterested, and shouts back "No!" He immediately looks down and, sure enough, he's 5 inches more...
How do you get milk from a witchs cat? Steal her saucer.
A cannibal joke
What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
A cannibal joke
What do you call a massive witch doctor?
Mumbo jumbo!
A vampire joke
Why did the vampire give up acting?
He couldn’t get his teeth into the part!
A skeleton joke
What do you call a skeleton who won’t get up in the mornings?
Lazy bones!
A werewolf joke
Why are werewolvse thought of as quick witted?
Because they always give snappy answers!
A witch joke
How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one?
By her suntan!
A werewolf joke
What do you get if you cross a hairdresser and a werewolf?
A creature with an all over perm!
Pagan Lightbulb Jokes (Okay, this is REALLY vague, but I'm sure some people are going to love it...)
*How many lesbian feminist Dianic Wiccans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one, and it's NOT FUNNY!!!
*How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb?
(any large number here) -- One to change the light bulb, one to prepare the environmental impact statement, and the rest to do a self-criticism afterwards...
*How many Dianics does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but that bulb has really got to want to change.
*How many years does it take a Dianic Wiccan to change a lightbulb?
You can change it whenever you are empowered to do so.
*How many years does it take a Dianic Wiccan to change a lightbulb?
Not sure.....we'll call Z. Bhudapest and get back to you!
*How many Dianic women does it take to change a lightbulb?
That's W-I-M-M-I-N, more...