Witch Jokes / Recent Jokes
A witch joke
Why did the stupid witch keep her clothes in the fridge?
She liked to have something cool to slip into in the evenings!
A cannibal joke
What happened when the cannibals ate a comedian?
They had a feast of fun!
A ghost joke
What do you call a ghost’s mother and father?
Transparents!
A vampire joke
Who plays centre forward for the vampire football team?
The ghoulscorer!
A witch joke
Why did the witch give up fortune telling?
There was no future in it!
A Halloween joke
Why was everyone tickled by the fried chicken at the Halloween party?
Because the feathers were still on the chicken!
A witch joke
What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?
With any luck you’ll soon be well enough to get up for a spell!
A witch joke
What has handles and flies?
A witch in a dustbin!
A cannibal joke
Why don’t cannibals eat weathermen?
Because they give them wind!
A witch joke
What is evil and ugly and bounces?
A witch on a trampoline!
A Halloween joke
What do stupid kids do at Halloween?
They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins!
A witch joke
Why did the witch put her broom in the wash?
She wanted a clean sweep!
A ghost joke
What are little ghosts dressed in when it rains?
Boo-ts and ghoul-oshes!
A vampire joke
How does a vampire like his food served?
In bite sized pieces!
A ghost joke
What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off?
Ban-she Ban-she!
A vampire joke
What do vampires have at eleven o’clock every day?
A coffin break!
A witch joke
Why did the baby witch smile when she came out in blotches?
Because it was an ‘appy rash!
A Halloween joke
Why was the little boy unhappy to win first prize for the best costume at the Halloween party?
Because he just came to pick up his sister!
A cannibal joke
Why didn’t the cannibal eat Mike Tyson?
He thought he would give him a paunch!
A witch joke
Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat?
So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen!
A witch joke
What has six legs and flies?
A witch giving her cat a ride!
A ghost joke
This woman wanted to marry a ghost. I don’t know what possessed her!
A witch joke
Have you heard about the good weather witch?
She’s forecasting sunny spells!
A cannibal joke
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village?
Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
A witch joke
How do witches tell the time?
By looking at their witch watches!
A vampire joke
What was the Californian vampire hippy like?
He was ghoul man, real ghoul!
A witch joke
What happens if you see twin witches?
You won’t be able to see which witch is witch!
A Halloween joke
Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?
It was for “tick or tweet”!
A ghost joke
What happened when the ghost asked for a whiskey at his local bar?
The bartender said “Sorry sir, we don’t serve spirits here”!
A cannibal joke
Why did the cannibal live on his own?
He was fed up with other people!
A witch joke
What’s the witches favourite pop group?
Broomski Beat!
A Halloween joke
What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party?
No one moved, they couldn’t stir without her!
A witch joke
What is evil and ugly on the inside and green on the outside?
A witch dressed as a cucumber!
A vampire joke
Why does Dracula have no friends?
Because he’s a pain in the neck!
A witch joke
How can you tell when a witch is really ugly?
When a wasp stings her it closes his eyes!
He was a junior bank executive and he had swindled one hundred thousand dollars from his bank - all of which he'd lost at the races. The bank examiners were coming the next day, and when he confessed the whole thing to his wife, she packed her bags and left him. Totally despondent, he walked to a nearby bridge and stood at the edge of it about to jump off and end it all. Suddenly a voice called, "Young man, don't do that! There is no need to end your life! I'm a witch and I can help you!" "I doubt it," he said sadly, "I've stolen a hundred thousand dollars from the bank, for which I'll probably be arrested tomorrow, and my wife has left me." "Young man, witches can do anything," she said. "I'm going to perform a witch miracle. "She said, "ALAKAZAM! The hundred thousand dollars has been replaced and there's another hundred thousand in your safe deposit box! ALAKAZAM! Your wife is back home again!"He looked at her in disbelief, more...
A Halloween joke
What do witches eat at Halloween?
Spooketti, halloweenies, devils food cake and booberry pie!
A vampire joke
What’s Dracula’s car called?
A mobile blood unit!
A werewolf joke
What do you call a hairy beast with clothes on?
A wear-wolf!
A witch joke
Why did the witch go over the mountain?
Because she couldn’t go under it!
A skeleton joke
Why didn’t the skeleton want to play football?
Because his heart wasn’t in it!
A cannibal joke
Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
A wizard joke
If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be?
Out for the count!