Wonder Jokes / Recent Jokes
10) Broken masonry makes great drainage for potted plants.9) Get beaten up by people half your size and twice your age.8) Never run out of kindling wood again.7) No need to wonder what belt to wear.6) Get to be on first name basis with the Emergency Room staff.5) These uniforms make nice pajamas.4) Never need to wonder why it's hard to get up in the morning.3) Get to appreciate the finer points of Chuck Norris' acting.2) Learn to count to 10 in 3 different Asian languages. And the top reason for studying martial arts:
1) (Tie) Get to star in Ginsu commercials. / Three words: free nose job.
Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?
They might be cheetahs!
Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player
Fan: Why's that?
Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!
Why do artists never when they play football?
They keep drawing!
Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs! Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder playerFan: Why's that? Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him! Why do artists never when they play football? They keep drawing! Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games? So that they can pack the defence! Where do old bowling balls end up? In the gutter! Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet? Player: I finished it in three days! What part of a football pitch smells nicest? The scenter spot!
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? -Age 15 Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. -Age 13 It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. -Age 8 Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. -Age 10 Home is where the house is. -Age 6 I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. -Age 13 I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular a singer as some people think he should be. Then, I remember it's because he sucks. -Age 15 For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that more...
Superman is flying over a nude beach and since he can fly at super speed he can go down and have sex with all the women and they wont know what happend, so he flys down and has sex with almost everyone down there than gets back up, than he sees wonder women and is happy because he has always had a thing for her and he knows if he is down there to long she will catch hin so he goes down and gets it over with realy fast and gets back up, than wonder women sits and says what happend and the invisible man on top of her says i dont know but my ass realy hurts!
Superman is flying through the sky on a bright sunny afternoon when all all of a sudden he spies Wonder Woman laying on the ground with her legs apart. He decides to fly down and do the dastardly deed with her, so he swoops down - buzz - buzz - buzz - and flies off.
Wonder Woman laying on the ground looks bewildered and dissheveled. She comments, "What was that???"
And the Invisible Man says, "I don't know but my butt hurts!!!"