Woodchuck Jokes

how much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuckn could chuck wood?
as much as he can before he gets shot!

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Chuck Norris' house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?...All of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
A picture is worth a thousand more...

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? How do you get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass? How do you get off a non-stop flight? How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink? How do you throw away a garbage can? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman? If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it considered a ham-hock? If a turtle lost his shell, is he homeless or naked? If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe? If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from? If I save time, when do I get it back? If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers? If swimming is good for your shape, more...

Less Common Latin PhrasesQuo signo nata es? What's your sign? Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt.You know, the Romans invented the art of love.O! Plus! Perge! Aio! Hui! Hem! Oh! More! Go on! Yes! Ooh! Ummm! Spero nos familiares mansuros.I hope we'll still be friends.Mellita, domi adsum.Honey, I'm home.Tam exanimis quam tunica nehru fio.I am as dead as the nehru jacket.Ventis secundis, tene cursum.Go with the flow.Totum dependeat.Let it all hang out.Te precor dulcissime supplex! Pretty please with a cherry on top! Magister Mundi sum! I am the Master of the Universe! Fac me cocleario vomere! Gag me with a spoon! Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre? Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me? Prehende uxorem meam, sis! Take my wife, please! Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? How much wood would a more...

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
How do you get the "Keep off the Grass" sign on the grass?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How do you know when you've run out of invisible ink?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it considered a ham-hock?
If a turtle lost his shell, is he homeless or naked?
If athletes get athletes foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If I save time, when do I get it back?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
If Superman is so smart why does he wear more...