Woodpecker Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two tall trees are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. One tree says to the other, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The other says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. One of the tall trees says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies, "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. That, my friends, is the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

Two tall trees are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them.

One tree says to the other: "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The other says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands in the sapling. The tall tree says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies: "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. That, my friends, is the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

An Alaskan woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker were in Alaska arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck. The Alaskan woodpecker said that they had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Texas woodpecker challenged him and was able to peck a hole in the tree with no problem.
The Alaskan woodpecker was in awe. The Texas woodpecker challenged the Alaskan woodpecker to peck a tree in Texas that no woodpecker had been able to peck successfully. The Alaskan woodpecker was confident that he could do it.
After flying to Texas and sucessfully pecking the tree in Texas, the two woodpeckers couldn't figure out why the Texas woodpecker was able to peck the Alaskan tree and the Alaskan woodpecker was able to peck the Texan tree, when neither one was able to peck the tree in their own state.
After thinking for some time, they both came to the same conclusion: Your pecker is always harder when you're away from home.

What do you call a woodpecker without a beak? A headbanger

A Mississippi woodpecker and a Texas woodpecker were in Mississippi arguing about which state had the toughest trees to peck.
The Mississippi woodpecker said that they had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.
The Texas woodpecker challenged him and was able to peck a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mississippi woodpecker was in awe.
The Texas woodpecker then challenged the Mississippi woodpecker to peck a tree in Texas that no woodpecker had been able to peck successfully. After flying to Texas, the Mississippi woodpecker was able to peck the Texas tree with no problem.
The two woodpeckers were now confused. How is it that the Texas woodpecker was able to peck the Mississippi tree and the Mississippi woodpecker was able to peck the Texas tree when neither one was able to peck the tree in their own state?
After thinking for some time they both came to the same conclusion... Your pecker is always harder when you're away from home.