Worms Jokes / Recent Jokes
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.
"Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water.
The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be. The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
One afternoon, two worms were crawling through the grass. The male worm said to female worm, “How about if you and I go back to your place? ”
The female worm said, “Okay. ” So, the two worms went back to her place and the male worm noticed that the female worm is wearing a wedding ring.
The male worm said, “I’m sorry honey, but I don’t do this sort of thing with married worms. ”
The female worm replied, “Don’t worry. My husband is not coming home. ”
The male worm asked, “How do you know that for sure? ”
The female worm answered, ” Well, he got up early this morning and went fishing. ”
What`s yellow, wiggles and is dangerous?
A maggot with attitude!
Why was the glow worm unhappy?
Because her children weren`t that bright!
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant?
Very big worm holes in your garden!
What reads and lives in an apple?
A bookworm!
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It`s been nice gnawing you!
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
What did the maggot say to another?
What`s a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this!
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag?
They can lighten your load!
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python?
A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death! What is the best advice to give to worm?
Sleep late!
What`s the difference between a more...
Once there were two birds and they were sitting high up in a tree. They looked down, and realized that the field below was covered with worms poking their heads out of their holes. Not wanting to miss this wonderful chance to feist, both birds flew down to the field and had a grand time eating as many of the worms as they could. When they tried to fly back up to their perch, they found out that they were too heavy and their wings wouldn't lift them. They decided to lie down underneath their tree in a warm sunny spot until all of their food was digested and they could fly back up into their tree, so they waddled over to the base of the tree and lied down. While the two birds were sleeping in the sun, along came a wolf and to his surprise and excitement saw two wonderful, sleeping, unsuspecting birds that would make a perfect lunch for him. So he went up to them, ate them, burped, and what did he say?"There's nothing like Baskin Robbins!"
A chemistry teacher was attempting to teach his Grade 9 class a lesson about the evils of liquor. To do so, he produced an experiment involving a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms.
"Now class, observe very closely," he said, as he put a worm into the water. The worm wiggled about in the water, about as happy as a worm in water could be.
He then placed the second worm in the glass of whiskey. The worm writhed painfully and sank to the bottom of the glass, as dead as a doornail.
"Now, could someone tell me what we can derive from this experiment?" he asked.
Billy, the class clown who sat at the back of the room, raised his hand and responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."
A woman goes into a doctor's office complaining that she has constant pains in her stomach.
The doctor brings her into the examining room and asks, "Well, Ma'am, are you constipated?"
The woman replies, "No, I am not. I go to the bathroom every morning at 8:15, just like clockwork."
The doctor asks, "Every day, are you sure?"
The woman replies, "Yes, I never miss a day, every day at 8:15am I am on the toilet."
Well, the doctor ponders this because obviously the woman is not constipated so he sends her for a battery of tests.
The doctor calls the lady a couple of days later and has her come into his office.
"Well, Ms., I have found the problem it seems that you have 3 tapeworms in your stomach and that is causing you all the discomfort."
The lady looks a little scared and asks, "Well doc, what can we do about it?"
The doctor replies, "Oh, not to worry, just a simple operation to remove more...
Worms
A seventh grade Biology teacher arranged a demonstration for his class.
He took two earth worms and in front of the class he did the following.
He dropped the first worm into a beaker of water where it dropped to the bottom and wriggled about.
He dropped the second worm into a beaker of Ethyl alcohol and it immediately shrivelled up and died.
He asked the class if anyone knew what this demonstration was intended to show them.
A boy in the second row immediately shot his arm up and, when called on said: "You're showing us that if you drink alcohol, you won't have worms."