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Good News, Bad News, Worse News Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids Bad: You can't find your birth control pills Worse: Your daughter borrowed them

Computer Problem Report Form1. Describe your problem: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________2. Now, describe the problem accurately: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: ________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________4. Problem Severity: A. Minor__ B. Minor__ C. Minor__ D. Trivial__5. Nature of the problem: A. Locked Up__ B. Frozen__ C. Hung__ D. Strange Smell__6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__9. Have you made it worse? Yes__10. Have you had "a friend" who "Knows all about computers" try to fix it for you? Yes__ No__11. Did they make it even worse? Yes__12. Have you more...

As you may already know, THE DARWIN AWARDS are bestowed every year upon (the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.

And now, for this year's illustrious winner(s):.. drum roll... John
Pernicky and friend Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington, decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the Amphitheater at Gorge Washington. Having no tickets (but 18 beers among them) they sat in the parking lot, and after finishing the beer, decided that it would be easy enough to hop over the nine-foot high fence and sneak into the show.

The two friends pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for John--100 pounds heavier than Sal-to hop over, and then assist his friend over the fence. Unfortunately for John, there was a 30 foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His more...

Good News, Bad News, Worse News III Good: Your husband understands fashion Bad: He's a crossdresser Worse: He looks better than you

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

Good News, Bad News, Worse News IV Good: Your son's finally maturing Bad: He's involved with the woman next door Worse: So are you

Good News, Bad News, Worse News V Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter Bad: She keeps interrupting Worse: With corrections