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What's a man's worst nightmare? 1) The Super Bowl is pre-empted by a soap opera. 2) His wife has amnesia and forgets how to cook so he has to. 3) A female boss. 4) He has to ask his wife for money.

LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.
LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.
LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.
LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant "You looked up," or invoke the wrath of the universe.
LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems more...

Once there was a guy wandering through the desert. he was starved and very thirsty so he was very excited when he saw this huge house out of nowhere. He walked up and rang the doorbell. After a couple of rings an old chinese guy answered. The starved man begged him for a meal and some shelter. The Old man said that he could stay as long as he needed to, but there was one exception the old man said "you can not touch my daughter. If you do you will experience the 3 worst chinese tortures". The man, being very hungry and tired, quickly agreed. " how good looking can she be if she lives out in the middle of nowhere" he thought. That night at dinner he saw the old man's daughter for the first time. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. He tried not to stare at her but he couldn't help it. After dinner she handed him a note that said " meet me in my room at midnight". That night after the old man had gone to sleep he went into the more...

The best things in life are free and the worst things in life cost only $19.95.

The worst kind of accountant to have is the shy, retiring type. His ledgers are a few million dollars shy, which is why he's retiring.

Finally there's a logical explanation to the confusion and complexity of the game. You might just enjoy these:
Tour Through The Absolute Laws of Golf
The 1st Tee: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summmer and, eventually, a lifetime.
The 2nd Dogleg: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.
The 3rd Hole: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
The 4th Fairway: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should immediately be cut down.
More on the Laws of Golf...
The more...

Clinton and Gore: They have what it takes to take what you`ve got!

"Carter is no longer the worst U. S. President"

"I am Clinton of Borg. Your incomes will be assimilated."

Thank you, Bill Clinton, for costing me my job. I will repay you in 1996.

Hey Hillary! Shut-up and redecorate!

My other car was cancelled by the Clinton Tax Bill.

It`s the spending stupid!

If Clinton was the answer, it must have been a real stupid question!

Clinton in 1996--NOT!!

I`m not Fonda Clinton

Rodhamhood: She steals from everyone to give to the government.

Bill Clinton is living proof why stupid people shouldn`t vote.

Voter: "The joke`s over, bring back Bush."

Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Draft will begin production in Canada this year.

When Clinton was asked what he more...