Worth Jokes / Recent Jokes
What are seniors citizens worth? They are worth a fortune, with all the silver in their hair, gold in
their teeth, stones in their kidneys and lead in their feet.
As for myself, I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my
life since then. Frankly, I have become quite a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every
day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. I immediately go to see John. After
that Charlie Horse comes along, and he really takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves,
Arthur Ritis shows up and stays for the rest of the day. However, he doesn't like to stay in one
place very long, so he just takes me from joint to joint. Finally after such a busy tiring day, I'm
really glad to be able to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life!!
P. S. The preacher came by the other day. He said at my age, I should be thinking about the hereafter.
I told him,' Oh I do more...
What are seniors worth anyway? They are worth a fortune, with all the silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys and lead in their feet.Well I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come into my life since then. Frankly, I have become quitea frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me get out of bed. I immediately go to see John.After that Charlie Horse comes along, and he really takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves, Arthur Ritis shows up and stays for the rest of the day. However, he doesn't like to stay in one place very long, so he just takes me from joint to joint. Finally after such a busy tiring day, I'm really glad to be able to go to bed with Ben Gay. What a life! P.S. The preacher came by the other day. He said at my age, I should be thinking about the hereafter. I told him, 'Oh I do all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the more...
Gordon's First Law: If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.
A Japanese man came to US and visited NY. He wanted to get his traveler‚s checks changed and went to the Citibank. He gave a traveler‚s check worth of 4000 Japanese yen, and got 266 US Dollars from the bank, he said "thank you" to the beautiful lady who was in the cash counter.
After two days he wanted to exchange some more money, and he went to the same bank, but to a different counter and gave a traveler‚s check worth of 4000 yen and got 220 US Dollars from the bank. This time he did not thank, because he got less Dollar amount. He understood something wrong in the transaction, and he got little mad and told the bank rep:
"I think your calculation is wrong, the other day I got 266 dollars for the same Yen amount from this bank. This is not correct... is that the way you people serve your customers, specially foreigners.?
The counter rep (a lady) said " fluctuation"(sounds like "fuc-u-asian" in American accent).
The more...
A business tycoon was also a keen cricketer. One day he was in his office when received a call and was asked if he was busy.
'Busy?' he shouted.' Don't you know that my time is worth ten pounds a minute?'
'Well,' said the captain,' how about laying a thousand pounds worth of cricket on Sunday?'
Late night Comedians and Talk Show hosts are having a Field Day this political season.! These are some of the better ones. Hope you enjoy.
"In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administration. I agree. It may take another five years, but this is it."
"John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle."
"Kerry has already begun his search for a running mate. They say that because John Edwards still has $50 million in campaign money, Kerry might pick him. Pick him? Hey, for $50 million, Kerry will marry him"Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton."
"According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you see, that's why John Kerry had all that more...
1. Open an executable file on my machine. Please don't send any.
1a. Open Word documents (notorious for their embedded macros, possibly infected). (Get WordPerfect, at least its got a spell checker that's literate.) Please don't send any.
2. Read or pass on ANY kind of chain letter. Please don't send any.
3. Read a message that's been forwarded multiple times and is embedded three or more emails deep. If it's worth sending, it's worth copying and pasting; I receive too many emails to go up to my waist in any particular one, or read through 2 screens of email addresses. Please don't send any.
Why?
Because. .. I don't have "Microsoft" patience.