Wouldnt Jokes / Recent Jokes
I wouldnt say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed, but when they cry the tears run down their back!
Wouldnt it be nice to tell the Dean of your college what you REALLY think about him/her? Well, if you like your Dean as much as I like my Dean, then youd better keep your mouth shut. I knew Id get kicked out of the college if I expressed my true feelings, so I remained silent for the last four years. But yesterday was my graduation. And as I walked across the stage, the Dean handed my diploma to me (nicely scrolled and tied with a ribbon). Once she handed it to me, I could finally tell that bitch what I REALLY thought about her. So I leaned across her podium and I looked her straight in the eye."Hey Bitch," I said. "Youre so damn ugly, you could practice birth control just by leaving the lights on!"And then I walked off the stage, and went home. I gotta tell you that it felt just as good as I had imagined it would for the last four years. Today, I unwrapped my diploma, fr amed it, and hung it in the living room, where it proudly exclaims to the world: "In more...
Casey married a rich widow, but they didnt get along. One day she said to him, "If it wasnt for my money, that new television wouldnt be here. If it wasnt for my money, that grand piano wouldnt be here. If it wasnt for my money, this house wouldnt be here." Casey mumbled, "If it wasnt for your money, I wouldnt be here."
I wouldnt say Christmas gnomes are ugly, But if beautys skin deep then they were was born inside out!
One day i was out looking for a Birthday present for my sisters 19th birthday and as i was walking down the card isle and spotted something that looked like it would be good....But before i tell you the joke you need to know that my all of my sisters x boyfreinds have either been in jail or are on their way to jail so back to the card....
On the front it said
Hey Sis i was going to get all of your x boyfreinds to sign this card for you... then when you opened it up it said However the guards wouldnt let them have any sharp objects!!!
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it werent for my money, we wouldnt be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it werent for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldnt on a honeymoon, nor wouldthere be any "we" in the first place."