Wrong Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once upon a time there was a chicken. This chicken was very fat and made lots of noise. One day this chicken made so much noise that a farmer came and cut the chicken's head off. Although most chickens would run around once their head was cut off, this chicken would not. Instead, it dropped dead. The end.
Once upon a time a computer dude named Eric went to the store to buy some food. Little did he know that when he went to get the chicken for his stir fry, the chicken he actually got was the hero/victim in the previous story. When the chicken had hit the ground, it had picked up a disease. The flesh eating bacteria that caused you to rot away in agony in less than 24 hours. Although young David's life was about to end, he would be remembered for a long time as the first one to contract the "David" virus. As David cooked the diseased poultry, little did he know, that the chicken was diseased in the first place. As he cooked it, it did not destroy the virus. He ate it more...

A husband and wife were having a petty argument and both were unwilling to admit they might be in the wrong.
In an attempt to reconcile, the wife said, "I'll admit I'm wrong, if you'll admit I'm right."
The husband agreed and, being a gentleman, insisted she go first.
"I'm wrong," the wife said.
"You're right!" the husband replied, with a twinkle in his eye.

Adam was walking around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked him, "What is wrong with you?"Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.He said, "This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when you discover clothing she'll wash it for you.She will always agree with every decision you make.She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.She will not nag you and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.She will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"God replied, "An arm and a leg."Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"The rest is history...

Adam was wandering around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, when he heard a loud voice ask him, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to, and he was feeling very lonely.
Then the loud voice said he was going to give him a companion and it would be a woman. The voice continued, saying; "this person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give you love and compassion whenever needed."
Adam thought that sounded great, so he asked "What would a woman like this cost me??"
The voice answered, "an arm and a leg."
Adam thought about that for a moment. He thought that would be a pretty high price to more...

I halve a spelling checker, It came with my pea see. It plainly marks four my revue Mistakes I dew knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait aweigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the era rite Its rarely ever wrong.
I've scent this massage threw it, And I'm shore your pleased too no Its letter prefect in every weigh; My checker tolled me sew.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

Editor's Note: These are, naturally, from the era of the Bush administration...

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Draft The Bush Twins

Don't Mess With Mesopotamia

War Is SO 20th Century

When Bush Comes To Shove

Brains Not Bombs

War Is A Dick Thing, Peace Is A Heart Thing

George Dubya: Weapon Of Mass Distraction

Beat The Bushes For Peace

Weapons Of Mass Destruction: Look Under The Bushes

Drop Bush, Not Bombs

Bombing For Peace Is Like F*cking For Virginity

Evolve! Work For A Non-violent Future

If War Is The Answer, We're Asking The Wrong Question

Killing Innocent People Is The Problem, Not The Solution

Save America, Spare Iraq, Make Texas Take Him Back

Real Patriots Drive Hybrids

Drop Names, Not Bombs

Who Would Jesus Bomb?

Stop Mad Cowboy Disease

George Bush more...