Yankee Jokes / Recent Jokes

What is the difference between Yankee fans and dentists?

One roots for the yanks, and the other yanks for the roots.

A Yankee lawyer went duck hunting in eastern North Carolina. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing. The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, I'm going into retrieve it."
The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U. S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything!
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things here in North Carolina. We settle small disagreements like this with the NC Three-Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What is the NC three-Kick Rule?"
The Farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until more...

Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude female dead drunk. Out of respect, the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Yankee fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch. The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the Cubs cap, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Sox cap, replaced it, and wrote down some more notes. The officer then lifted the Yankees cap, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last time. The Yankee fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?" Well," said the officer. "I am simply more...

Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude female dead drunk. Out of respect and propriety, the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Yankee fan took off his cap and placed it over her crotch. The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the Cubs cap, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Sox cap, replaced it, and wrote down some more notes. The officer then lifted the Yankees cap, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last time. The Yankee fan was getting upset and finally asked, "What are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?" Well," said the officer. more...

Take your own sweet time when doing ANYTHING.
Pronounce all one-syllable words with two.
When giving directions, finish with "and it's right down yonder
on the left." Confuses the mess out of 'em.
Talk REAL slow, and ask them to speak more slowly so you can
understand what they're saying.
When they talk nostalgically about the North, tell 'em "Delta's
ready when you are!"
Talk loudly and often about SEC football or ACC basketball.
Refer to every soft drink as a Coke.
Always order sweet tea and/or grits. When they don't have it,
raise a ruckus.
Offer to send 'em a bottle of fresh air.
Insist on being addressed by your first AND middle names. (e.g.
Lisa Marie - John Michael - Jim Bob...you get the idea)
Frequently bring up "The War of Northern Aggression" in
conversation. If anyone ever says the words "Civil War", always
interject that "there was nothing civil about more...

a red sox fan, a yankee fan, a tiger, and a deadly snake are all trapped in a cave.
you are the red sox fan. You have a gun with 2 bullets.
what do you do?
Shoot yhe yankee fan twice

Q. Whats the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself.