Yell Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island for
many years. The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes
up on the shore. The new guy and the wife are VERY attracted to
each other right away, but they realize that certain protocols
will have to be observed. The husband, oblivious to the
pheremones floating around, is just glad to have someone new to
talk to. "This is wonderful! Now we'll be able to have three
people doing 8-hour shifts in the watchtower instead of two
people doing 12-hour shifts." The new man is only too happy to
help, and in fact volunteers to do the first shift.
He climbs up the tall tower and stands watch, scanning the ocean
horizon for any ships. Soon the husband and wife start placing
stones in a circle in order to make a fire to cook supper. The
new man yells down: "Hey, no screwing!" They look at each other
and yell back: "We're not more...

A tourist from the United States of America is at a resturant in Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the best country in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says, "Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in front of the White House in Washington D.C. and yell' President Clinton is a bastard!' and nothing would be done to me." The Cuban waiter replies, "We have that same freedom in Cuba. I could stand in front of El Capital and yell the same thing and nothing would be done to me too!"

Two Hunters from Michigan (a true story). This is from a radio program, a true report of an incident in Michigan:
A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator SUV for $42, 500 and has $560 monthly payments. He and a friend go duck hunting in the winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen over. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns, a dog, and of course the new Vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready.
Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it's going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill.
So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these two Rocket Scientists do take into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and the more...

You should not attempt these things during an actual exam. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early. 2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol. 4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril. 5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 6. Bring cheerleaders. 7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the more...

A man and his wife have been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes up on shore. The new guy and the wife are very attracted to each other but realize that certain protocols will have to be observed. The husband, oblivious to the pheromones floating around, is just glad to have someone new to talk to.
"This is wonderful! Now we'll be able to have three people doing 8-hour shifts in the watchtower instead of two people doing 12-hour shifts."
The new man is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do the first shift.
He climbs up the tall tower and stands watch, scanning the ocean horizon for any ships. Soon the husband and wife start placing stones in a circle in order to make a fire to cook supper.
The new man yells down, "Hey, no screwing!"
They look at each other and yell back, "We're not screwing!"
A few minutes later, they start to put driftwood into the stone more...

* When you go to a Japanese restaurant, you start a “USA! USA! ” chant.
* When you girlfriend dumps you, you tell her she couldn’t “play with the big boys, ” and that she will never get past mid-card status.
* When you search and search the bible for the book of Austin.
* If you can actually remember Sting’s last public words.
* If on a job application, you state your residence as “parts unknown. ”
* If you quit your Job because you have to find your “Smile. ”
* When you’re getting beat up in a bar fight, but you honestly believe that with a little crowd support, you can turn this thing around.
* If you hit your co-worker in head with a chair while your manager is distracting him.
* When you look for Sting on the back of the milk carton during breakfast.
* When a guy steals your girl, you consider it an angle.
* When you rack your neighbor’s dog.
* When you attend a graduation, and yell “Ooooooh yeah! ” more...

Three blondes walk into a bar and ask the bartender for three shots of tequila.
He looks at them and says "OK" and pours their shots.
They all clink glasses and and yell, "51 days!" Then they proceed to slam the
shots, looking very self-satisfied. They look back to the bartender and decide
to order another round. This time they pick up the glasses again and, more
gleefully yell, "Only 51 days!"
The bartender finally can't stand wondering what they are talking about and asks
them what they mean by only 51 days.
One of the blondes looks at him and says, "Well," looking very smug, "We just
finished a jigsaw puzzle. It took us only 51 days... and on the box it said 4-7
years."