Yell Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man and his wife are stranded on a desert island.

The wife begins to lose interest in her husband and wishes on a star that she could find another man.

The next day a man is washed on shore.

He is very handsome and he is consumed by lust for the wife.

The husband is pleased to have another man to help with work around the island.

The stranger and wife, falling in love with one another, wanted to have mad passionate sex on the beach, so he thinks of a plan.

Wanting to be safe from wildlife on the island, they decide to build a shelter high up in the trees.

The stranger worked on the roof while the husband and wife worked down on the beach.

Periodically the stranger would yell to them from the tree house,' 'Hey! No having sex! Get back to work!''

At this, the couple would yell back,' 'We're not having sex!''

This happened several times while he worked on the roof of the more...

Find two straws, preferably with wide tubes. Insert into your nostrils. Inhale your food.
Don't go to the dining hall. Live there and never leave. When people come in, harass for news of the outside world and tell them how the dining hall needs new ketchup.
Before eating, say grace. Punctuate by slamming your face into your food.
After obtaining your food, proceed to throw it out the nearest window. Turn to the person nearest to you and say, "Wow! Did you ever see [name of dish] fly like that before?"
Hide behind the milk dispenser. Moo every time someone gets milk.
Go up to the server and ask to see the chef. After he/she is introduced, request an off-the-menu meal consisting of lightly blackened escargot, a simmering seafood bisque, a delicately roasted rack of lamb in a basil cream sauce, and a tart but not sweet dessert of his/her own concoction. When he or she refuses, punch' em and proceed to make this meal yourself.
After finishing your more...

A tourist from the United States of America is at a resturantin Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the bestcountry in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says,"Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in frontof the White House in Washington D.C. and yell 'PresidentClinton is a bastard!' and nothing would be done to me." TheCuban waiter replies, "We have that same freedom in Cuba. Icould stand in front of El Capital and yell the same thing andnothing would be done to me too!"

50 ways to FREAK your roommate
1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave
"Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your
roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them.
2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is asleep. Keep a pair
of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every morning.
3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and
dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying,
"Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and wait for your roommate
to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like,
THEY, were here again."
5. Every time you see your more...

I will not waste chalk
I will not skateboard in the halls
I will not burp in class
I will not instigate revolution
I will not draw naked ladies in class
I did not see Elvis
I will not call my teacher a Hot Cakes'
Garlic gum is not funny
They are laughing at me, not with me
I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not fake my way through life
Tar is not a plaything
I will not Xerox my butt
I will not trade pants with others
I will not do that thing with my tongue
I will not drive the principal's car
I will not pledge allegiance to Bart
I will not sell school property
I will not cut corners
I will not get very far with this attitude
I will not make flatulent noises in class
I will not belch the National Anthem
I will not sell land in Florida
I will not grease the monkey bars
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
I will not more...

There was a fireman who when he came home told his wife that he wanted to run their house more like the fire station, so his wife asked him how.
The man said that at the firestation there is a three bell system: at the first bell we all get dressed for the fire, at the second we slide down the pole, at the third we go to the fire. When I get home and yell bell one I want you to go to the bedroom. When I yell bell two I want you to take off all your clothes. When I yell bell three we will begin to fuck all night.
She agreed and the next night when he came home he yelled bell one and she went to the bedroom, he yelled bell two and she stripped off all her clothes, and when he yelled bell three they began to fuck. A little while into it she yelled bell four, he exclaimed what the hell is bell four? she replied, "More hose you asshole, you are no where near the fire!"

A tourist from the United States of America is at a resturantin Havana. He tells the waiter that the USA is the bestcountry in the world because of the freedoms it has. He says,"Take Freedom of Speech for example. I could stand in frontof the White House in Washington D. C. and yell' PresidentClinton is a bastard!' and nothing would be done to me." TheCuban waiter replies, "We have that same freedom in Cuba. Icould stand in front of El Capital and yell the same thing andnothing would be done to me too!"