Yoghurt Jokes

1. What's the difference between Aussies and pigs?
>>>
>>> Pigs don't turn into Aussies when they drink.
>>>
>>>>
2. What's the difference between an Australian and a
>>> computer?
>>>
>>> You only have to punch information into a computer once.
>>>
>>>
>>>3. Why do birds fly upside down over Australian?
>>>
>>> It's not worth shitting on.
>>>
>>>
>>>4. Why was the Christ Child not born in Australia?
>>>
>>> You'd have a job finding three wise men, much less
>>>a virgin! !!!
>>>
>>>
>>>5. What do you call a field full of Australians?
>>>
>>> A vacant lot.
>>>
>>>
>>>6. Parachutes
>>>
>>> An Englishman, an Irishman, an Australian and a New
>>>Zealander were onboard a plane, getting ready to make their
>>>first parachute jump. The Englishman's exit was spectacular; he
>>>leapt out of the plane with the cry, " I am doing this more...

FINALLY, a way to know what to throw-out and what to save!

THE GAG TEST
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).

EGGS
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yoghurt. Yoghurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese but you realise you've never purchased that kind.

MAYONNAISE
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.

FROZEN FOODS
Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled - (or more...

* Freezer Foods:
ICE CREAM
If you can't tell the difference between your ice cubes and your ice cream, it's time to throw BOTH out.
FROZEN FOODS
Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.
* In the Fridge:
EGGS
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.
DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yoghurt. Yoghurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway - if you can dig down and still find something non-green, bon appetite!
MEAT
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, toss the meat.
UNMARKED ITEMS
You more...