Yorker Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals.The chief comes to them and says, "the bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot and cook you, eat you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die."The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword." The chief gives him a sword, he says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through.The Englishman says, "a pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says,"God save the queen!" and blows his brains out.The New Yorker says, "gimme a fork."The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork.The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over - the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible.The chief is appalled, even for a cannibal.He asks, "My God almighty, what more...

A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London.' 'Excuse me, but if you wanted the steak you might not get one as there is a shortage due to the mad cow disease,'' says the waiter. The Texan says,' 'What's a shortage?'' The Russian says,' 'What's a steak?'' The New Yorker says,' 'What's excuse me?''

These four guys were walking down the street,
a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a
New Yorker.A reporter comes running up and says,
'Excuse me, what is your opinion about the
meat shortage?'The Saudi says,' Excuse me, what's a shortage?'The Russian says,' Excuse me, what's meat?'The North Korean says,' Excuse me, what's an opinion?'The New Yorker, says,' Excuse me? What's excuse me?

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker are captured by a
fierce tribe. The chief approaches them and says, "The bad news
is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you and
then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you
get to choose how you die."
The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some
poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down.
The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives
him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the
queen!" and blows his brains out.
The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork."

The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork.

The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over-the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible.

The chief is appalled, and more...

After a long day of listening to a Texan brag, a New Yorker decided to show the Texan the Empire State Building.
When the Texan but down New York's well-know landmark by saying: "Heck, that's nothing. In Texas, we have outhouses bigger than that!"
The New Yorker, reponded, "You need them!"

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce tribe. The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze poison." The chief gives him some poison, the Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and drinks it down. The Englishman says, "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him a pistol, he points it at his head, says, "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork." The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over --the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. There's blood gushing out all over, it's horrible. The chief is appalled, and screams, "What are you doing???" The New Yorker looks at the chief and more...

A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London. Excuse me, but if you wanted the steak you might not get one as there is a shortage due to the mad cow disease, says the waiter. The Texan says, Whats a shortage? The Russian says, Whats a steak? The New Yorker says, Whats excuse me?