"2 Home Puns" joke
My husband is always complaining about my inability to stay on a budget and about the costs of running the house in general. This has become worse since we have had the twins.
Everything is double... clothes, food, pediatrician bills. Lately, he has even been complaining about the amount of baby powder I have been using on the twins to prevent them from getting diaper rashes. I've had to remind him that... talc is cheap.
My brother and I used to fight over everything. Who would get the best toy. Who would get the biggest treat.
Well, on this rainy day Mother discovered she only had one large lollipop for a treat and told us we would have to share. My brother, who was two years older than me suggested that he would take a wooden mallet and break it evenly for us to share and I readily agreed, But when he hit it, it shattered into a number of uneven pieces that we couldn't divide evenly.
Mother told us we should have expected that would occur. She said,... "You can never give a sucker an even break."
Not enough votes...