"AOL Disks" joke

[This is an original creation except as noted below]
[For the occassional hermit out there without a mail drop, America Online
has been distributing "10 Hours Free" disks like crazy. They come with
magazines, they come by themselves, they are attached to trade journals
etc. I have about ten of them now. I have never expressed an interest
in AOL but these disks keep mounting up.]
Things to do about all of your AOL disks.
Collect two solar masses worth and detonate the sun. [copied from
a signature seen on the net.]
Activate each account with a different cartoon character name like
Bullwinkle, Barney Rubble, Tasmanian Devil, etc. See if you run out
of names before you run out of disks.
Activate the disks one at a time. For each disk you activate, download
enough files to fill up the reformatted activation disk. Don't stop
until you have downloaded all data AOL has to offer. Use remaining
unactivated disks for backup of downloaded data.
Get 1000 people to all activate all of their disks at the same time.
Monitor trade journals to see which disk storage manufacturer gets
AOL's order for new multi-terabyte drive to hold subscriber
data base.
Tile your bathroom with your collection. Submit picture of bathroom
to GQ (Geek Quarterly) magazine.
Donate disks to charity. Tell IRS that each disk contains $10 worth
of software. Use resulting deductions to buy Lichtenstein.
Call the FBI and tell them that these disks are made from refined uranium
and homes across the country will begin exploding as soon as they
reach critical mass.
Activate all of your disk simultaneously using different ids. Making
effective use of mail forwarding and distrubtion lists, bring AOL to
a screeching halt by creating, sending, forwarding and reforwarding
the following message among the various account: "Stop sending
these f****g disks."
Erase all disks, put new labels on them and resell them as new. Retire
at age 43.
Start pyramid scheme with chain letter that tells recipient to
mail 1 disk to each of the five people listed in the letter and
to send the letter to five more people.