"A famous Hollywood director dies and reaches Heaven" joke

A famous Hollywood director dies and reaches Heaven. At the proverbial gate, St. Peter meets him and explains that God would like the director to make one more movie.
The director grimaces, "But I retired years before I died. I'm tired of all the hassles involved in making movies."
"Listen," St. Peter explains, "We got Ludwig von Beethoven to write a new score for the movie."
"You're not listening to me," the director protested. "I don't want to make any more movies."
"But we got Leonardo da Vinci to do the set design for you," St. Peter exclaimed.
"I don't want to make any more movies!" the director insisted.
"Now look at this script," St Peter said. "We got William Shakespeare to write it for you."
"Well," said the director "a score by Beethoven, set design by da Vinci, a script by William Shakespeare... How can I go wrong? I'll do it!"
"Great!" exclaimed St. Peter. "There's only one small hitch... God's got a girlfriend who sings..."

In the international school of Ireland, there is a very patriotic history
teacher.
One day, the teacher asked his students, "Who is the most important man in
the history of the world?" He then offered 2 shillings to the student who
gets the right more...

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