"A kids new words" joke
One day a child and his father are on a bike ride down a country lane until the man falls off, and shouts BASTARD as he wimpers in pain and the child asks "Daddy what does bastard mean". The man still wimpering in pain looks around and searches for something and he sees a police car in the distance and says to his son, "Bastard means police man son". Later on when they get home, the man is watching a football match and has just lost a bet on it and shouts "My arse" due to an offside and the child asks his dad, "What does my arse mean dad?" so the man puzzled again looks around and looks at the door and sees the doormat, and says "Doormat son, doormat" later that night, the man is shaving and cuts himself and screams "SHIT!" and the little boy asks what shit means. His father still holding his face feels the shaving cream and says "Shaving cream son, shaving cream," The little boy walks downstairs and his mum has just burnt the chicken. She screams "FUCK!" The little boy asks what fuck means. "Erm...chicken son, chicken," A couple of seconds later a police man knocks at the door so the little boy says "Hi bastard, wipe your feet on my arse, my dads busy wiping shit off his face and my mums just fucked the chicken!!!
One day a little boy over heard his parents in the bedrooom arguing,"You bitch, your cunt is too hairy! Whell your dick is to small bastard!"The boy was curious about these new words so he went in the room and asked what they meant. The startled parents did their best more...
A priest had a small flock of chickens, but the prize rooster went missing, and he didn't know where to find it. So at the sermon next Sunday he queried:
"Has anybody got a cock?"
All the men stood up.
"No, no, I mean has anybody seen a more...
There was once a very prim and proper older lady who had a problem with passing gas. Since she came from a generation when people didn't even talk about this kind of problem it took a long time for her to seek help.
Finally, however, she was persuaded to consult her family more...