Shaving Jokes

A little boy heard his mom and dad fightin and the mom called the dad a bastard and he called her a bitch so the boy asks whats a bitch and whats a bastard? The parents said well, a bitch is a girl and a bastard is a boy. So the little boy then hears the neighbor say to his wife, im gonna stick my dick in your pussy and the boy again asks his parents what a pussy and a dick are. the parents say, well, a dick is a hat and a pussy is a coat. So the boy goes on and then his dad is shaving and he cuts himself and says Shit. So the boy asks, whats shit dad? and the father says its a type of shaving cream. Then he is downstairs and the mother is cuttin the turkey and she cuts herself and says Fuck. the boy asks mom what does fuck mean? and she says its a way of cuttin turkey. Then all the family and friends come over for thanksgiving and the boy answers the door and says," hey all you bitches and bastards! Please hand me your pussies and dicks and wait in the living room. my parents more...

A mother and a father were fighting calling each other bitches and bastards. When there 5 year old son walked in and asked what bitches and bastards meant. The parents said it was a very nice way to say ladies and gentlemen.
The next day the parents were feeling horny and were saying boobs and dicks. Their son walked in and asked what it meant. They replied it means coat and hats.
The next day was thanksgiving and the father was shaving, he cut himself and yelled shit! The son walked in and asked what it meant. The father replied its the brand of shaving creme.
That same day the mother was cutting the turkey and she cut herself. She yelled FUCK! The son walked in and asked what it meant. The mother replied it meant cutting the turkey.
The doorbell rang and the boy opened the door. The boy announced, "Good evening Bitches and Bastards, please hang up your boobs and dicks on the coat rack while my dad is wiping the shit off his face and my mother is fucking the more...

The mom calls the husband a "bastard."
Then, the dad calls the wife a "bitch."
Little Billy goes to his mom and says "Mom? what is a bitch and a bastard?"
Mom says "Well, a bitch is a lady and a bastard is a gentlemen."
Later Billy goes outside and hears his neighbors, and hears "Put your penis in my vagina!"
So Billy goes to his mom and says "Mom? What is a penis and vagina?"
His mom says "Well Billy, a penis is a hat and a vagina is a coat."
Later, Billy sees his dad shaving and cuts himself and says "Shit!"
Billy said "Dad, what is shit?"
And then his dad says,"Well billy, Shit is a type of Shaving cream."
Billy goes to see his mom cutting the turkey and his mom cuts her finger and says "Fuck!"
Billy says to his mom, "Mom? what is fuck?"
"Well Billy, fuck is a way of cutting the turkey"
Later the guests more...

There was a little girl she didn't know any bad words.
the mom was cutting the turkey and she cut herself, she said "fuck". the little girl says "mommy, what's' fuck'?" it's another word for cutting the turkey.
so the dad was shaving in the corner and he dropped his razor and said "shit". The little girl said "daddy what's' shit'?" And the dad replied "it's another word for shaving"
so the mom and dad were fighting. the mom says "you bastard" the little girl says "mommy what's a' bastard'" it's another word for a man. the dad replied "you bitch" and the little girl asked "daddy what's a' bitch'?" it's another word for' woman'.
so some guests arrived and the little girl says "hey you bitches and bastards mom's in the kitchen fucking the turkey and dad's in the corner shitting"
moral: tell the truth

Fill a large brown envelope about 70% with shaving foam.

Close over the flap but don't close it.

Place it part way, flap first under a friends door and call them to acquire it.

When you hear them walking towards it, jump on the back end of the envelope and shaving foam will spray everywhere.