Shaved Jokes

A guy walks into a bar with a sad look on his face. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, "What`s the matter?"
The guy replies, "well I`ve got these two horses, and you see... I can`t tell them apart. I don`t know if I`m mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right food."

The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy, tries to think of something that he can do. "Why don`t you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?"
The man stops crying and says, "That sounds like a good idea, I think I`ll try it."

A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he was before. "What`s the matter now?" the bartender asks.
The guy, sobbing, answers, "I shaved the tail of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can`t tell them apart again!" The bartender, now just wanting him to shut up or leave says, "Why don`t you try shaving the mane, maybe that will not more...

"Doctor, My son swallowed a razor-blade." "Don''t panic, I''m coming immediately. Have you done anything yet? "

"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."

A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, "what's the matter?"
The fellow replies, "well I've got these two horses (sniff, sniff), and well... I can't tell them apart. I don't know if I'm mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods."
The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy, tries to think of somthing he can do.
"Why don't you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?"
The man stops crying and says, "that sounds like a good idea, I think I'll try it."
A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he was before.
"What's the matter now?"
the bartender asks.
The fellow, in no condition to be in public, answers, "I shaved the tail of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can't tell them apart again!"
The bartender, now just wanting him to shut up or leave says, "why don't you try more...

A rascal had no money for the New Year's Day and this worried his wife. The rascal said, "You may rest assured, everything will be all right." Later when he saw a barber passing by, he had a brainstorm, and he thought up a clever scheme. He asked the barber to give him a hair cut. "Could you cut my eyebrows off," said the rascal after the barber had begun cutting. When one of his brows was shaved, he shouted, "Barbers never cut eyebrows! This is an unheard of absurdity!" With these words the rascal seized the barber by the collar, and took him to the court to seek justice. The barber was frightened, and had to pay 100 copper cash to settle the matter. Having extorted the money, the rascal spent a happy New Year's Day. Seeing that one of her husband's eyebrows had disappeared, his wife suggested, "you'd better have the other day brow shaved off too." "Don't you understand what my next move is?", said the rascal. "This brow will be more...

An old lady lived by herself in a small house in a small town. One day she went to the local grocery store and while she was gone a criminal broke into her house, took her clothes off of the line, smashed the watermellons in her garden, shaved her cat and then left when he couldn't find any money. Well, a couple of hours later the old laty got home and when she saw what had happened to her house she immediately called the police. When the officer on the other end answered the phone and asked her what the problem was she simply replied "yes officer someone broke into my house, took my clothes off, squeezed my melons, and shaved my pussy. Sent by BIG GUY