"Accepting applications" joke
I am accepting applications for "Long Term Booty Call with sentimental value"
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
My mate Dave is serving a life sentence for something he didn't do.
He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the knife.
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!