"Computer Support Problems" joke

COMPUTER PROBLEM REPORT FORM:

1. Describe your problem:
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2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
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3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
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4. Problem severity:
A. Minor
B. Minor
C. Minor
D. Trivial

5. Nature of the problem:

A. ___Locked Up
B. ___Frozen
C. ___Hung
D. ___Strange Smell

6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes __ No __

7. Is it turned on? Yes __ No __

8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes __ No __

9. Have you made it worse? Yes __

10. Have you had a friend who "knows all about computers " try to fix it for you? Yes__ No__

11. Did they make it even worse? Yes __

12. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__

13. Are you sure you`ve read the manual? Maybe __ No__

14. Are you absolutely certain you`ve read the manual? No__

15. If you read the manual, do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__

16. If `Yes` then explain why you can`t fix the problem yourself:
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17. What were you doing with your computer when the problem occurred?
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18. If you answered `nothing` then explain why you were logged in:
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19. Are you sure that you aren`t imagining the problem? Yes__ No__

20. Does the clock on your VCR blink 12: 00? Yes__ What`s a VCR__

21. Do you have a copy of `PCs for Dummies`? Yes__ No__

22. Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem? Yes__ No__

23. Do you have any electronic products that DO work? Yes __ No__

24. Is there anyone else that you could blame this problem on? Yes__ No__

25. Have you given the machine a good whack on the top? Yes__ No__

26. Is the machine on fire? Yes__ Not Yet __