"Computer problem report" joke

Computer Problem Report Form
1. Describe your problem:
________________________________
________________________________
2. Now, describe the problem
accurately:
________________________________
________________________________
3. Speculate wildly about the cause
of the problem:
________________________________
________________________________
4. Problem Severity:
A. Minor __
B. Minor __
C. Minor __
D. Trivial __
5. Nature of the problem:
A. Locked Up __
B. Frozen __
C. Hung __
D. Strange Smell __
6. Is your computer plugged in?
Yes __
No __
7. Is it turned on?
Yes __
No __
8. Have you tried to fix it yourself?
Yes __
No __
9. Have you made it worse?
Yes __
10. Have you had a friend who knows
all about computers. Try to fix it
for you?
Yes __ No __
11. Did they make it even worse?
Yes __
12. Have you read the manual?
Yes __ No __
13. Are you sure you`ve read the manual?
Maybe __ No __
14. Are you absolutely you`ve
read the manual?
No __
15. If you read the manual, do you think
you understood it?
Yes __ No __
16. If Yes, then explain why you can`t
fix the problem yourself.
________________________________
________________________________
17. What were you doing with your computer
at the time the problem occurred?
________________________________
________________________________
l8. If you answered nothing, then explain
why you were logged in?
________________________________
________________________________
l9. Are you sure you aren`t imagining
the problem?
Yes __ No __
20. Does the clock on your home VCR blink
12: 00?
Yes __ What`s a VCR? __
21. Do you have a copy of PCs for Dummies?
Yes __ No __
22. Do you have any independent witnesses
to the problem?
Yes __ No __
23. Do you have any electronics products
that DO work?
Yes __ No __
24. Is there anyone else you could blame
this problem on?
Yes __ No __
25. Have you given the machine a good whack
on the top?
Yes __ No __
26. Is the machine on fire?
Yes __ Not Yet __
27. Can you do something else instead of
bothering me?
Yes __