"Ebonics Xmas" joke

Da Nite Befo' Crizmus
Wuz da nit befo Crizmus
An all thru da hood
eberybody be sleepin'
Dey wuz sleepin real good
We hunged up our stockins
An hoped like all heck
Dat' ol Sanny Claws
Gonna brang us our check
All a da fambly
wuz layin' in beds
while Thunderbird wine
Danced thru dere heds
I dun passed out on de flo
rite nex to my maw
when I heared such a fuss
I thunk - it must be da law
I looked out thru da bars
what could I now do
I was spectin' the sheriff
Wid a warrant fo sho'
An what I did see
Made me say. .."Lawd look at dat
Dere wuz a huge watahmelon
Pulled by 8 big ass rats
Now ober all da years
Sanny Claws he be white
but it looks like us bros
gets a black Sanny tonight
Faster dan a po lice car
My homeboy he came
He whupped up on dem rats
As he called dem by name
On Leroy, On Roosevelt
On Virvus, On Willie
On Yolanda On Crayola
On Keisha, and Nefrotilly
And' ol Sanny landed dat watahmelon
Out dere in da street
I knowed it fo' shu
Da damndest ting I eber seed
Dat black Sanny dint go down no chimbly
he picked da lock on my do'
an I sez to myself
" S#it - he dun did dis befo'
He had did big bag
Full a prezents I speck
Wif Air Jordans and fake gold
To wear roun my nek
But he left no prezents
Jus started stealin my s#it
Got my guns, got my crack
Eben my burglars kit
Wit my s#it in his bag
Out da windo he flew
I sho' woulda chased him
but he got my knife too
He jumped on dat watahmelon
wit out a hitch
He wuz gone in a second
that son of a bitch
So nex year I be hopin'
A white Sanny we git
Cuz a black Sanny Claws
Jus' ain't worf a s#it!