"Enclosed you will find my 2005 tax return" joke
Enclosed you will find my 2005 tax return showing that I
owe $3, 407. 00 in taxes. Please note the attached article
from the USA Today newspaper, dated 12 November, wherein
you will see the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying $171. 50 per hammer and NASA has paid $600. 00 per toilet seat.
I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2, 400) and six
(6) hammers valued @ $1, 029), which I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total remittance to $3, 429. 00.
Please apply the overpayment of $22. 00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1. 5 " Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today newspaper detailing how H. U. D. pays $22. 00 each for 1. 5" Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your convenience.
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.
Sincerely,
A Satisfied Taxpayer
While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope's authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back. They were more...