"Fart Categories" joke

Eggy Fart: Smells pretty much like rotten eggs (or Hydrogen Sulphide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster.
Growling Fart: Happens deep within the rectum, therefore having no smell. Somehow never meets the light of day. Tends to growl like a dog at the vet.
Prelude to a Poopie: You feel like you have got a large beefy one, but out comes a tiny squeaker fart, and the head of something massive. You quickly tense your buttocks, lest you give birth to the brown equivalent of a zeppelin.
Beefy One: Sounds loud, and butch eg. 'BRAAAAMMPPP!' Will smell a little like the rotting offspring of a B.S.E infected cow and a dog-turd.
Squeeky Fart: Sounds like 'Wheeek'. Normally smells foul.
Trouser Ripping Special: Sends seismic ripples to the next city. Rips the back of your pants. This one genuinely hurts and you can still feel it 20 minutes later. Those sitting nearby at the time will experience hearing loss.
Brewer Fart: You try to push a brewer fart the last furlong, but it stays firmly lodged deep within your bowels. You reach the conclusion that it is some form of gaseous landmark.
Stalker Fart: Occurs when you leave the room to politely fart elsewhere, in order to save people the trouble of breathing your flatulent devils breath. You go back into the room, but LO! The foul nasal bombardment has followed you and you are duly criticised for poor manners.
On The Spot Fart: You didn't even know it was there, but suddenly 'Brrmp'.
Hydrated Flatulation (a.k.a Wet Fart): The original wet fart, which leaves a mark on your pants and gives you a cold, wet, sticky sensation when you walk. You may not like this little bugger, but you feel right at home with it.
Underwater Fart: Often done in the bathtub or while swimming. Sounds like the engine of a nuclear sub. Can be smelt on rising to the surface. Experienced windbreakers will often catch the fart in an upturned jam jar, in order to set light to them.
Tandem Fart: Tandem Farts are the worst smelling and longest lasting farts ever to be recorded. They are so named since they are the only fart that is detectable by the nose on a Tandem bicycle (bicycle built for two) as it is being pedaled. A tandem fart occurs when the captain of the bike farts and the stoker smells it. As you can imagine, the fart must be extremely strong to compete with the wind and to get to the stoker's nose. Extremely disgusting farts off of a tandem are sometimes called Tandem farts, but they can never be confirmed as true Tandem.
Silent But Deadly (SBD) Fart: The type that remains totally inaudible, yet somehow causes all occupants of a room to collapse. Can smell like anything, nasal investigators rarely have time to distinguish an odor.
Windy Fart: The sort of fart which goes 'Whoosh' and is more felt than heard. A little like an SBD, but louder and considerably less toxic.
Worrying Fart: The kind which seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You go to the bathroom and check your underwear at the first possible opportunity.
Compost Fart: You know the compost heap that a gardener keeps at the bottom of the garden? Well, if you jump on it you will have some idea of what a compost fart sounds and smells like. Do not attempt this one while you have company.
Present (a.k.a 'Time I Wasn't Here' Fart): The type of fart that seems harmless, but then brings a small poopie as a housewarming gift. You shuffle off to the toilet and thank God you weren't in a business meeting when it happened. Needless to say, if you were in a business meeting, you're screwed.
Bunbuster Fart: 'BRAAA!' Sounds like a Beefy one, except much more sudden and much, much more powerful. Generally smells eggy or beefy. Leaves your asshole smarting. You really feel these babies.
Escape Pod Fart: You think you got away with this one. You forced it out as silently as possible and