"JEWISH SAMURAI" joke
Back in the time when the Samurai were important, there was a
powerful emperor who needed a new chief Samurai, so he sent out a declaration
throughout the land that he was searching for the best one. A year
passed, and only 3 people showed up for the trials:
....a Japanese Samurai
....a Chinese Samurai
....and a Jewish Samurai.
The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why
he should be the chief Samurai.
The Japanese Samurai opened a match box, and out flew a bumblebee.
Whoosh! went his razor sharp sword, and the bumblebee dropped dead on
the ground in 2 pieces.
The emperor exclaimed: "This is impressive!"
The emperor then issued the same challenge to the Chinese Samurai;
for him to come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen.
The Chinese Samurai also opened a match box, and out buzzed a fly.
Whoosh, Whoosh! Went his great flashing sword, and the fly dropped
dead on the ground... in four small pieces.
The emperor exclaimed in awe: "That is really VERY impressive!"
Now the emperor turned to the Jewish Samurai, and asked him also to
step forward and demonstrate why he should be the head Samurai.
The Jewish Samurai also opened a match box, and out flew a small
gnat. His lightning quick sword went Whooooosh! Whooooosh! Whoooosh!....But
the tiny gnat was still alive and flying around.
The emperor, obviously very disappointed in this display, said: "I
see you are not up to the task. The gnat is not dead?"
The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said: "Circumcision is not meant
to kill."
A guy steps into an elevator and there's just one attractive woman in it.
He turns around to push the button for his floor and his elbow bumps right into her breast.
He says, "Oh, I'm so sorry. If your heart is as soft as your breast, I hope you'll be able to more...
A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.