"Legal Warnings and Disclaimers" joke

Legal disclaimers and warnings are often important, because they point out things that may not be immediately obvious, limiting legal liability for mishaps. But, some statements really make you wonder...

On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavored milk drink AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)

On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END.

On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?

On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.

On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.