"More Computer Viruses!" joke

DANGER: new viruses discovered!:
Congressional Virus v
2.0: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow the user to accomplish anything.
Tipper Gore Virus: When you attempt to play any sound file, it pops up a warning window stating that some lyrics may be unsuitable for children.
Government Ecomomist Virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
New World Order Virus: Probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.
Warren Commission Virus: Won't allow you to open your files for 75 years.
David Duke Virus: Makes your screen go completely white.
Pat Buchanan Virus: Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.
Texas Virus: Makes sure it's bigger than any other file.
Adam And Eve Virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
Warren Beatty Virus: Constantly tries to prove it's virility by attaching itself to younger or newer files.
Airline Virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Freudian Virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.
PBS Virus: Your PC stops what it's doing every few minutes to ask for money.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus: Nobody can find it.
Kevorkian Virus: Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to.
Healthcare Virus: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends a you a bill for $4,
500.
LAPD Virus: It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and erases them in "self-defence".
Billy Graham Virus: When you save a file, it prints, "I am saved!" to the screen.
Michael Jackson Virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This Virus won't harm your PC, but it will trash your car.
And finally...
JokeGalore.com Virus: poses as a harmless list of funny computer Virus names! Is quickly passed from one user to all other users known via e-mail, consequently consuming all known network resources.