"Nursery Tale" joke
Three nurses died and went to Heaven, where they were met at the Pearly
Gates by St. Peter.
To the first, he asked, "So, what did you used to do back on Earth? Why
do you think you should be allowed to come into Heaven?"
"I was a nurse at an inner city hospital," she replied. "I worked to bring
healing and peace to many sufferers, especially poor, helpless children."
"Very noble," said St. Peter. "You may enter." And in through the Gates
she went.
To the next, he asked the same question, "So, what did you used to do?"
"I was a nurse at a missionary hospital in the Amazon basin," she replied.
"For many years, I worked with a skeleton crew of doctors and nurses who
tried to reach out to as many people across numerous tribes, with a hand
of healing and peace, and with the message about God's love."
"How touching," said St. Peter. "You, too, may enter." And in she went.
He then came to the last nurse, to whom he asked, "So, what did you used to
do back on Earth?"
After some hesitation, she explained, "I was just a nurse at an HMO."
St. Peter pondered this for a moment, and then said, "Ok, you may enter, too."
"Whew!" said the nurse. "For a moment there, I thought you weren't going to
let me in."
"Oh, you can come in," said St. Peter, "but you can only stay for three days!"
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!