"Questions about heterosexuals (satire)" joke
What do you think caused your heterosexuality?
When and how did you first decide you were a heterosexual?
Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you will grow out of?
Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of people of the same sex? Maybe you just need a positive gay experience?
Heterosexuals have histories of failures in gay relationships. Do you think you may have turned heterosexual out of fear of rejection?
If you never slept with a person of the same sex, how do you know you wouldn't prefer that?
If heterosexuality is normal, why are a disproportionate number of mental patients heterosexual?
To whom have you disclosed your heterosexual tendencies? How did they react?
Your heterosexuality doesn't offend me as long as you leave me alone, but why do so many heterosexuals try to seduce others into that orientation?
If you should choose to nurture children, would you want them to be hetero-sexual, knowing the problems they would face?
Most child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose your children to heterosexuals? Heterosexual teachers, particularly?
Why must heterosexuals be so blatant, making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?
Heterosexuals always assign themselves such narrowly restricted, stereo-typical sex roles. Why do you cling to such unhealthy role-playing?
How can you have a fully satisfying deeply emotional or sexual experience with an opposite-sex person, when the obvious physical, biological, and temperamental differences are so vast? How can a man possibly understand what pleases a woman and vice-versa?
Heterosexual marriage has total societal support, yet the divorce rate continues to spiral. Why are there so few stable heterosexual relationships?
Since there are so few happy heterosexuals, techniques have been developed to help people change. Have you considered trying aversion therapy?
Could you trust a heterosexual therapist/counsellor not to try to influence you to his/her own sexual leanings?
Do heterosexuals hate and/or distrust others of their own sex? Is that what makes them heterosexual?
A disproportionate number of criminals and other irresponsible types are heterosexual. So why would someone hire a heterosexual in a responsible position?
Why are heterosexuals so promiscuous, always having affairs, etc.?
Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"
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