"Sardar And Medical School" joke

A glossary of Medical Terms, and alternate meanings as given by Sardars
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Benign................ What you be after you be eight.
Artery................ The study of paintings.
Bacteria.............. Back door to cafeteria.
Barium................ What doctors do when patients die.
Cesarean Section...... A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan............... Searching for kitty.
Cauterize............. Made eye contact with her.
Colic................. A sheep dog.
Coma.................. A punctuation mark.
D & C................. Where Washington is.
Dilate................ To live long.
Enema................. Not a friend.
Fester................ Quicker than someone else.
Fibula................ A small lie.
Genital............... Non-Jewish person.
G. I. Series........... World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail.............. What you hang your coat on.
Impotent.............. Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain............ Getting hurt at work.
Medical Staff......... A Doctor's cane.
Morbid................ A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates.............. Cheaper than day rates.
Node.................. Was aware of
Outpatient..... ...... A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear...... ...... A fatherhood test.
Pelvis................ Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative........ A letter carrier.
Recovery Room......... Place to do upholstery.
Rectum................ Darn near killed him.
Secretion............. Hiding something.
Seizure............... Roman emperor.
Tablet................ A small table.
Terminal Illness...... Getting sick at the Bus Station
Tumor................. More than one
Urine................. Opposite of you're out.
Varicose.............. Near by/close by.
Vein.................. Conceited.
Once upon a time, a Surdar applied to Medical School
needless to say he never made it because these are the answers he
gave......
QUESTION: Define the following terms?
ANTIBODY - against everyone
ARTERY - the study of fine paintings
ASPHYXIA - get a "Butt Job"
BACTERIA - back door to a cafeteria
BENIGN - what you be after you be eight
BOWEL - letters like a, e, i, o, u
CAESARIAN SECTION - a district in Rome
CARDIOLOGY - advanced study of poker playing
CAT SCAN - searching for lost kitty
CHRONIC - neck of a crow
COMA - punctuation mark
CORTIZONE - area around local courthouse
CYST - short for sister
DIAGNOSIS - person with a slanted nose
DILATE - the late British princess
DISLOCATION - in this place
DUODENUM - couple in jeans
ENEMA - not a friend
FALSE LABOR - pretending to work
FECES - nasty countenance
GALLBLADDER - bladder in a girl
GENES - blue denim
GROIN - to mash to a pulp / smile
HERNIA - she is close by
HYMEN - greeting to several males
IMPOTENT - distinguished, well-known
LABOR PAIN - hurt at work
LACTOSE - person without digits on the foot
LIPOSUCTION - a French kiss
LYMPH - walk unsteadily
MENOPAUSE - I no wait
MICROBES - small dressing gowns
OBESITY - city of Obe
PACEMAKER - winner of Nobel Peace Prize
PROTEIN - in favour of teens
PULSE - grain
PUS - small cat
RED BLOOD COUNT - Dracula
RUPTURE - ecstasy
SECRETION - hiding anything
SEMEN - sailors
SERUM - sailors drink
SUBCUTANEOUS - not cute enough
SUTURE - Gujarati for "what do you want"
TABLET - small table