"Singing Offenses" joke

Doesn't know key to songs-$10
Doesn't know when to come in-$15
Modulates without informing band-$20
Continues singing in old key after song modulates-$30
Forgets original singer of song-$10
Dances great but sings off key and out of time-$30
Gets off key singing acapella-$200
Stands onstage but doesn't sing harmonies-$30
Sings bad harmonies-$35
Sings harmonies already contributed by band member in song-$40
Stops song halfway through and starts over-$25
Forgets to sing bridge-$20
Forgets words-$20
Sings verses out of order in song-$15
Makes up 4th verse to 3 verse song-$100
Holds words to song while singing onstage-$20
Looks at pager while singing song-$10
Sings consistently flat-$25
Sings consistently sharp-$25
Sings too softly-$5
Just plain ol' CANNOT SING, but buys band a round of drinks - No Charge
Sings "Stand By Your Man" in the key of A-$30
Wants to sing "Crazy" by Patsy Cline more than once a night-$100
Thinks that "Poor Pitiful Me" is a new Terri Clark song rather than old Warren Zevon song-$50
Thinks that "I Will Always Love You" is a new Whitney Houston song instead of
an old Dolly Parton song-$100
"Dolly who?"-$50
"Patsy who?"-$10