"The Rules of Bedroom Golf" joke

Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. Normally one club and two balls.
Play on the course must be approved by the Owner of the hole.
Unlike outdoor Golf, the object is to get the club in the hole, and keep the balls out of the hole.
For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course Owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before and during play.
Course Owners reserve the right to restrict the length of the club to avoid damage to the hole.
The object of the game is to ake as many strokes as necessary until the course Owner is satisfied that play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play the course again.
It is considered bad form to begin playing th hole immediately upon arrival at the course. The experienced player will normally take time to admi re the entire course, with special attention to the well-formed bunkers.
Palyers are cautioned *not* to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the Owner of the course being played. (Upset course Owners have been known to damage player's equipment.)
Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case.
Players should assure themselves that their match has been properly scheduled, particularly when a new course is being played for the first time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else playing what they considered a private course.
Players are advised to obtain permission before playing the back nine.
Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at least temporarily at the course Owner's request.
It is considered outstanding performance to play the same hole several times during one match.
The course Owner shall be sole judge of who is the best player.
Players are advised to think twice before considering membership at one given course. Additional assessment may be leveled by the course Owner and the rules are subject to change. For this reason, many players prefer to continue to play several different courses.