"Trouble - getting in and weaseling your way out of" joke

Here is another installment from The Man himself - this was taken from MATT GROENING'S "BIG BOOK OF HELL" (surprise).
When in doubt, howl your innocence:
"No way!"
"I've been framed!"
"I didn't do nuthin'!"
"Lemme see my lawyer!"
WHAT IS TROUBLE? The experts explain.
Expert #1: Trouble is bad. It messes up yer mind, causes shame, and annoys big grumpy adults. Trouble is one of the leading causes of spankings in the world today.
Expert #2: Trouble is the maladaptive social response of an inquisitive youth to a stultifying educational environment.
Expert #3: Trouble is fun, except when you get caught. My problem is, I always get caught.
BASIC TROUBLE: Whispering, squirming, passing notes, chewing gum, talking, drawing cartoons
ADVANCED TROUBLE: Hiding all the blackboard erasers, stealing back your confiscated yo-yo from the teacher's desk, throwing water balloons, squirting water on the teacher's chair
VERY ADVANCED TROUBLE: Dropping a bag of ball bearings on the floor, laughing at everything the teacher says, putting snails in the teacher's briefcase, throwing maple-syrup balloons
CAN TROUBLE BE AVOIDED? Many youngsters attempt to avoid trouble by seeking refuge in a seat in the rear corner of the classroom. Unfortunately, in recent centuries, many authorities have become aware of this hideout.
TRY NOT TO LOOK GUILTY. Half-asleep = innocent. Angelic = guilty as hell.
IF YOU ARE CAUGHT, try one or more of the following:
Act so shocked that you are rendered temporarily speechless. (This will buy you time while you think of a way out.)
Deny everything. Blame someone else. Look sincere. Stick to your story. Don't falter. Lie like crazy.
Confess - with as few details as possible. Look pathetic. Whimper. Beg for mercy. Swear you'll never do it again. (Important: don't forget to keep your fingers crossed.)