"True Newspaper Headlines...OY!" joke

Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995
Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us -Holland Sentinal, date unknown.
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut -The New York Times, November 22
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find -The Los Angeles Times, November 2
"Light" meals are lower in fat, calories -Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30
Alcohol ads promote drinking -The Hartford Courant, November 18
Malls try to attract shoppers -The Baltimore Sun, October 22
Official: Only rain will cure drought -The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men -The Sunday Oregonian, September 24
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty -Newsday, July 11
Man shoots neighbor with machete -The Miami Herald, July 3
Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes -The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30
Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows -The New York Times, March 10
Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies -The Los Angeles Times, March 2
Scientists see quakes in L.A. future -The Oregonian, January 28
Wachtler tells graduates that life in jail is demeaning -The Buffalo News, February 26
Free Advice: Bundle up when out in the cold -Lexington Herald-Leader, January 26
Prosecution paints O.J. as a wife-killer -Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25
Economist uses theory to explain economy -Collinsville Herald-Journal, February 8
Bible church's focus is the Bible -Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994
Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons -Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6
Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity -The Chicago Tribune, March 5
Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear -Journal of Commerce, April 20
Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person -The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2
Lack of brains hinders research -The Columbus Dispatch, April 16
Cement Supplies seen as adequate -The Bangkok Post, January 28
How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hay -Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5
Fish lurk in streams -Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29
Dole loses debate by not winning -Some newspaper