"UDURAWANA" joke

1) TV'S GALORE
Udurawana is buying a TV."Do you have colour TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
2) Flying High
Udurawana calls Air Lanka.
"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"
"Just a second," says the rep.
"Thank you." says the Udurawana and cuts the line.
3) EMPLOYMENT.
Udurawana was filling up an application form
for a job. He filled the columns titled NAME, AGE,
ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary
Expected: After much thought he wrote: Yes
4) CROCODILE BOOTS.
Udurawana proposes to a woman. She says yes if you
bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off
to Africa and disappears. Finally a search team
found him hunting a huge crocodiles. He walks
over to the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims
"70th damn croc and this bugger is also barefeet!"
5) Thermos
Udurawana goes into a store and sees a shiny
object. He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny
object?" The clerk replies, "That is a thermos."
Udurawana then asks, "What does it do?"
The clerk responds,
"It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."
Udurawana says, "I'll take one!"
The next day, he walks into work with his new thermos. Udurawana's boss asked,
"Wow, you have a Thermos. What do you have in it?"
Udurawana replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."
7) Why did 18 Udurawanas go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
8) TO LOSE WEIGHT.
The doctor told Udurawana to run eight kilometres a day for 300 days TO LOSE WEIGHT.. After 300 days, Udurawana called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem; "I'm 2400 kms away from home."
9) TRAIN TO OHIYA.
Udurawana's two sons Sunil and Rohan are waiting
in a railway station. Sunil asks the clerk:
"Can I take this train to Ohia?"
"No," answers the Railway man. "then Can I? " asks Rohan.
10) LOST WITHOUT HOPE
Having lost his donkey Udurawana, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; why are you thanking God?"
The Udurawana replied "I am thanking him for that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."
11) THE CHINESE WAY
Udurawana got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
Mother: Sri Lankan.
Father: Sri Lankan.
Kid: Chinese.
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sri LAnkan?"
says Udurawana "Ahhh... I read in the newspaper, that the every 4th person born on Earth now is a Chinese."
12) OUTER SPACE
Two dogs, Rubi and Moti, and Udurawana were sent to the outer space. The ground control issues commands
"Rubi!"
"Woof!" ( its the barking sound ) "Press the red button."
"Woof! Woof!"
"Moti!""Woof!" "Press the white button."
"Woof! Woof!"
"Udurawana!" "Woof."
"Stop barking, feed the dogs and don't touch anything!"
13) DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
Udurawana and a friend Amaris went to Colombo. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Amaris somehow managed to find a seat downstairs, But unfortunately Udurawana got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush was over, Amaris went upstairs to see his friend Udurawana. He met Udurawana in a bad
condition clutching the seats in front with both hands and saying
his prayers, scared to death. He asks,"Oi Udurawana! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared?... I was really enjoying my ride down there?
Udurawana mumbles "Yeah, but you've got a driver."
14) HELLO....!!!
Udurawana with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But. . what happened to your other ear?"
"The scoundrel called back."