"What You Don't Want to Hear on an Aeroplane" joke

"Now, as we don't have enough parachutes for all of us..."
"Of course that's not a mountain in front...isn't it?"
"That's not meant to happen!"
"What dy'a mean were not meant to be going to Iraq?"
Things you don't want to see on an aeroplane:
Fire engines and ambulances surounding the runway when you come in to land.
Armed soldiers and tanks surrounding the runway when you come in to land.
The wing fall off.

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