"Windows Help from some Bulletin Board" joke

WINDOWS PROBLEM
I'm wondering if anybody can help me with a problem I'm having on my computer at work.
I recently upgraded to Windows 95 from Windows 3. 14159, and I've noticed that whenever I'm running WordWanker Version 2. 0. 9. 4 (which I upgraded from 1. 8. 4. 7) in conjunction with FaxBuddy! Version 4. 2. 4. 3. 7857, everything works fine for about the first 25 minutes, but then if I try to type the passive plupefect subjunctive form of the verb "procreate" (or any of its slang equivalents) the keyboard locks up permanently and the hard drive makes a whimpering sound and all current data is erased, including data in computers several cubicles away. I have tried everything, including reformatting my hard drive and exorcism.
Please help!!! REPLY TO: WINDOWS PROBLEM
I had exactly the same problem, and after a lot of trial and error I found out that if you click on the Windows Control Panel, then on Command Center, then on Reset Variables, then on Establish New Parameters, then on Define Standards, then on Modify Criteria, then on Effectuate Paradigms, then on the little icon labeled "Do Not Ever Click On This Little Icon" then go down to the box that says Enter New Value, and type in 2038, you will still have the same problem.
This is why my doctor tripled my Prozac dosage.

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