5-year-old Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mother calls up stairs, "You boys better get down here and eat your breakfast or you'll be late for school!"As they are ambling down, the 5-year-old turns to the 4-year-old, stops and says, "Today we're gonna learn to swear!" The 4-year-old gives a fearful look.The 5-year-old continues, "When we get to the table, I'll say 'hell' and you say 'ass'!" The 4-year-old agrees with reservation.They seat themselves at the table. Mother greets them. "Good morning boys! What would you like for breakfast?"The 5-year-old leans back and cocks his head... "Hell Mom! I'll have Cheerios!"He is promptly escorted to another room while the 4-year-old seated at the table grimaces upon hearing the wailing cries of big brother getting a serious licking.Mother returns with sniffling 5-year-old. She turns to 4-year-old and says compassionately, "Well now, what would you like for breakfast?"The 4-year-old replies, "I don't know ma... But you can more...

Wedding VowsA grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this:"You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride."

An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child.

The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.

The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath. The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.

"Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"

An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a
baby.
It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor
arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her
5-year-old child.
The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he
could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.
The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the
doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the
bottom to get him to take his first breath.
The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.
"Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled
up there in the first place!"

An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child.
The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the Doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath. The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby. "Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"

An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity.
When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child.
The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby.
The child did so.
The mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.
The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby. The little boy responded: "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Spank him again."

A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath. The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby. "Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"