Absent Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
2. Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
3. Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father's fault.
4. Chris will not be in school because he has an acre in his side.
5. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
6. Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.
7. Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.
8. My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him.
9. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part.
10. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines.
11. Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip.
12. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose more...

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today.
Please execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear School: Please excuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32,
and also 33.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out
of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was
hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered
by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre)
(dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed more...

The following is a list with actual notes from parents (including spelling) to school offices:
*My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
*Please excuse Anne for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
*Dear school: Please ekscuse Joe being ansent on Jan. 28, 29, 39, 31, 32, and 33.
*Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
*Sally win't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
*My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
*Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

Yo mama so dark she spits chocolate milk!

Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent.

Yo mama so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.

Yo mama so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.

Just a little "back to school" humor!
> These are actual excuse notes from parents (including original
> spelling) collected by Nisheeth Parekh, University of Texas
> Medical Branch @ Galveston...
>
> My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P. E. today.
> Please execute him.
>
> Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had
> her shot.
>
> Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28,
> 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
>
> Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
>
> Please excuse Roland from P. E. for a few days. Yesterday he
> fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
>
> John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of
> his face.
>
> Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.
> He was hurt in the growing part.
>
> Megan could not come to school today because she has more...