Abuse Jokes

Why do they call it "drug abuse" when the person "abusing the drugs" then ends up with half of his brain being rendered useless?

And Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary, his espoused
wife, who was great with child. And she brought forth a son and wrapped
him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger because there was no
room for them in the inn. And the angel of the Lord spoke to the shepherds
and said, "I bring you tidings of great joy. Unto you is born a Savior,
which is Christ the Lord."
"There's a problem with the angel," said a Pharisee who happened to be
strolling by. As he explained to Joseph, angels are widely regarded as
religious symbols, and the stable was on public property where such symbols
were not allowed to land or even hover.
"And I have to tell you, this whole thing looks to me very much like a
Nativity scene," he said sadly. "That's a no-no, too." Joseph had a bright
idea. "What if I put a couple of reindeer over there near the ox and ass?"
he said, eager to avoid more...

And Joseph went up from Galilee to Bethlehem with Mary, his
espoused wife, who was great with child. And she brought forth a
Son and wrapped Him in swaddling clothes and laid Him in a manger
because there was no room for them in the inn.

And the angel of the Lord spoke to the shepherds and said, "I
bring you tidings of great joy. Unto you is born a Savior, which
is Christ the Lord."

"There's a problem with the angel, said a Pharisee, who happened
to be strolling by.

As he explained to Joseph, angels are widely regarded as religious
symbols, and the stable was on public property, where such symbols
were not allowed to land, or even hover. "And I have to tell you,
this whole thing looks to me very much like a Nativity scene, he
said sadly. "That's a no-no, too.

Joseph had a bright idea, "What if I put a couple of reindeer over
there near the ox and the ass? he more...

Gargamel (From the Smurfs)
Most likely LSD. Spends his life in pursuit of little blue guys in sissy white outfits and mentally abusing his cat. What does he plan to do with the blue dwarfs when he catches them anyway?
Olive Oyl
Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines. Who is that skinny?! She might even be anorexic, she IS always giving her burger to her friend. One side question, what the heck are Popeye and Brutus thinking? They almost made the list for dating her.
Snagglepuss
Can't explain it. Maybe it's the name, or the look, but he is definitely suspicious.
He-Man
This is an easy one. I mean c'mon. Roid monkey #1. "BY THE POWER OF ANABOL!!!" Makes me want to root for Skeletor. Alone in his castle, hitting the weights. And on top of that he even injects the stuff in his pet tiger. Animal Abuse!
& 5. Yogi and Boo Boo
We all know what is really in those picnic baskets. They go back to the cave and trip. Another side: Are they more...

These are some memos found in the trash behind the primary building of
the FBI (Federal Bureau of Incompetents) in Washington, D.C. They're
probably classified information, and possession of them on your computer
system no doubt is considered a federal offense. Enjoy!
>To: FBI Director William Sessions
>From: ATF Agent 2x3276
>Sir:
This small Wacko cult isn't giving in. Do you have any instructions?
Agent 2x3276
>To: ATF Agent 2x3276
>From: FBI Director William Sessions
>Agent:
Try playing "Feelings" over and over again 24 hours a day. That should
get the point across.
The Director
>To: FBI Director William Sessions
>From: ATF Agent 2x3276
>Sir:
Thank you for the suggestion. Unfortunately, playing "Feelings" over
and over again 24 hours a day has succeeded only in convincing the Wacko folks
that the end of the world is at hand. They're a bit less cooperative now.
Any more more...