Affair Jokes / Recent Jokes
Reuters is reporting a story about a Chinese housewife who's seeking a divorce from her husband because she believes he had an affair.
The woman said she discovered the affair when their pet mynah bird starting saying things like, "Divorce," "I love you," and "Be patient."
The bird apparently picked up the words by overhearing the husband's telephone calls with his mistress.
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work. Her nine-year-old son comes home unexpectedly,
sees the illegal lovers and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Then the woman's husband unexpectedly comes home.
She hides her lover in the cupboard, not realizing that her little boy is in there already. The little Boy says: "Dark in here."
The Man says: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have a soccer ball, do you want to buy it?"
Man: "No, thanks."
Boy: "My dad's outside, I'll call him if you don't buy it!"
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$1, 000."
A few weeks later it happened again,
and the boy and the lover were in the cupboard together again.
Boy: "Dark in here."
Man: "Yes, it is."
Boy: "I have soccer boots."
The Man, remembering the last time, asks the boy: "How much?"
The Boy says: more...
A doctor from Canada was having an affair with one of his female co-workers.
One day she announced to him that she was pregnant with his child. The doctor gave her enough money to fly to California and live their until the child was born. He gave her instructions to send him a postcard with the word SAURKRAUT on it when she gave birth.
About nine months later the doctor arrived home when his wife handed him a postcard. "Here", she said. "This came in the mail today".
The doctor took the postcard and it read... SAURKRAUT SAURKRAUT SAURKRAUT TWO WITH WEINERS & ONE WITHOUT!
A doctor from Canada was having an affair with one of his female co-workers.
One day she announced to him that she was pregnant with his child. The doctor gave her enough money to fly to California and live their until the child was born. He gave her instructions to send him a postcard with the word SAURKRAUT on it when she gave birth.
About nine months later the doctor arrived home when his wife handed him a postcard. "Here", she said. "This came in the mail today".
The doctor took the postcard and it read... SAURKRAUT, SAURKRAUT, SAURKRAUT - TWO WITH WEINERS & ONE WITHOUT!
A doctor from Canada was having an affair with one of his female co-workers.One day she announced to him that she was pregnant with his child. The doctor gave her enough money to fly to California and live their until the child was born. He gave her instructions to send him a postcard with the word SAURKRAUT on it when she gave birth.About nine months later the doctor arrived home when his wife handed him a postcard. "Here", she said. "This came in the mail today".The doctor took the postcard and it read... SAURKRAUT SAURKRAUT SAURKRAUT TWO WITH WEINERS & ONE WITHOUT!
Turmoil rocked Heaven this morning as allegations arose that God had had an affair with a former worshiper. The scandal was begun when a 21 year old woman, known only as Mary, claimed that she had given birth to God's "only son" last week in a barn in the hamlet of Bethlehem. Sources close to Mary claim that she "had loved God for a long time," that she was constantly talking about her relationship with God, and that she was "thrilled to have had his child." In a press conference this morning, God issued a vehement denial, saying that "No sexual relationship existed" and that "the facts of this story will come out in time, verily." Independent counsel Kenneth Beazulbub immediately filed a brief with the Justice department to expand his investigation to cover questions of whether any commandments may have been broken, and whether God had illegally funneled laundered money to his illegitimate child through three foreign operatives more...
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.
Inside the closet, the little boy says,' It sure is dark in here, isn't it?
'Yes it is,' the man replies.
'You wanna buy a baseball?' the little boy asks.
'No thanks,' the man replies.
'I think you do want to buy a baseball,' the little boy says firmly.
The man considers the position he is in for a moment.' Uh, I see. You're right, I do want to buy the ball. How much?'
Twenty-five dollars,' the little extortionist replies.
'TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!' the man repeats incredulously, but then shakes his head and complies to protect his hidden position.
The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places him in the closet with her more...